A daughter may outgrow your lap,
but she will never outgrow your heart.
Today is my daughter’s 63rd birthday. I can't believe it's true. This is the little girl that I held in my arms when she was just a tiny baby. I know every mother feels her child is one of a kind and they are but with your first-born they seem perfect. Cathy was a beautiful baby with just a wisp of hair on top of her head but the sides and back had soft little curls that curled even more with a little help. Her eyes were so blue that its hard to think of anything to compare them with. Even though most people said that babies couldn’t see too much in the beginning I was convinced that she was taking in every detail and understood them all. Maybe not, I didn’t dwell on it, I just enjoyed it.
We are given many pleasures in life but the most precious to me is the time that we have with our children. They grow up so fast. One day we are holding them in our arms and suddenly we are watching them walk away for their first day at school. They look back with a puzzled look on their face and you feel that you are deserting them. I realize they have to go out and meet the world alone but I was not ready. We only have a few years to try to teach them the challenges of that world. Did we say enough? Did we say too much? You stand there with a smile frozen on your face praying she will not see your doubt which could make her doubtful too. You stay rooted to the spot until she’s out of sight so she will see you there if she turns back one more time. She doesn’t. Like the good little girl you want her to be, she has transferred some of the faith she has in you to the teacher who now holds her hand. That’s how it should be. How to let go is one of the hardest lessons a young mother must learn. You realize that now you must think of her and what’s best for her. The time has come, the time of breaking away, and it doesn’t get any easier as the years go by. We adapt. We know this is preparing us for the role we will play in her life.
When you get home the hours pass so slowly. You check the clock to see if it has stopped. You wonder if she is happy. Does she like the other children in her class? Are they good to her? Does she feel that you have abandoned her? Did you tell her it would be fun? Will she remember that it’s just for a little while and soon she will be back in your arms again feeling safe and loved. Is she missing you at all? That's one of the hardest to accept. You wait for the time to arrive to pick her up again. It’s almost here. You leave early enough to get there before she gets out of class. You sit in the car as long as you can and then go stand in front of the school so that she will be sure to see you as soon as she comes out the door. You see other mothers waiting with their eyes glued on those same doors.
The doors finally open and children erupt from the building. You see her coming toward you now. Her face lights up when she sees you and you resist the urge to run to her. She has survived the first day of school with flying colors but your flags are flying at half-mast. On that day so very long ago we both learned one of the first steps of growing up.
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